Marin has a reputation for being a high achieving, high stress environment. We hear it from the kids. We hear it from parents, grandparents, caregivers. We hear it from healthcare workers, school staff, our co-workers, friends and community members. Across the board, 2025 is bringing additional uncertainty and tension. How do we, as adults, take care of our own physical, mental and emotional health so we can model that for the youth in our lives?
How do we practice true self-care—taking intentional steps to support ourselves and those around us in meaningful ways.
While it can be difficult to know what you need, most people require the same basic things in order to thrive: connection, purpose, autonomy, movement, and time outdoors. (Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy lays this out beautifully in his “Parting Prescription for America”.)
If we (both adults and adolescents) don’t have healthy behaviors habituated, we may need to put on the brakes, take a pause and consider what we need in the moment. Here are some techniques that can help. Many of us are programmed to go to what brings the fastest relief: technology, overworking, food, alcohol/drugs, complaining/blaming, or other ways of numbing out and dissociating from the present moment.
Making decisions that prioritize our well-being requires thoughtful consideration. And that can take a moment. As parents and caregivers, we know that finding time for yourself can often feel impossible. But here's the truth: no one else is going to make that time for you. Demonstrating self-care isn’t selfish - it’s necessary. And can be an invitation for those around us to take the time to prioritize themselves as well. Kids are watching. They notice how you speak to yourself, how you treat yourself, and the boundaries you set. Those little eyes and ears are learning how to navigate the world based on what they see from you.
We invite you to challenge the common belief that your love is measured by how much you sacrifice. Our goal is to flip the script, relieve that pressure, and help you see the importance of considering your own overall health as part of the bigger picture in raising healthy youth..
So, how do we shift in a more positive direction? In the midst of the pressures, expectations and outside influences of modern life, how do we take steps toward making space for the activities that will benefit us now and in the future? One thing to try is saying “no” more often.
If just thinking about saying “no” gives you heart palpitations, we get it. Being a dedicated member of your family and community is admirable—but there is a limit. Protecting your time and energy means recognizing that limit and respecting it. This month, we challenge you to take stock of what you’re able to give and say “no” to what doesn’t fit your emotional or mental budget.
Our Numb or Nourish program can help you get started. This program encourages pausing, reflecting, and aligning your actions before making a decision. For any one who is new to saying “no”, this simple system should help.
And just think: every “no” to something that drains you is a “yes” to something that fills your cup.
And once you’ve taken some steps toward building boundaries and doing more of what brings you joy, consider inviting others to join you. (Yes, we know—this takes energy. If you don’t have it now, save this idea for when you do!) You can start by simply asking your kids what they love to do. Use this as an opportunity to explore the difference between quick dopamine fixes and truly nourishing activities that create lasting happiness. Make a short list together, then plan your week to include more of those things. You can plan your self-care activities right alongside them!
By adding healthy activities to your calendar, you can practice boundaries and say no. When you feel pressured to say “yes” to yet another task, you’ll have a perfectly valid excuse not to. “Apologies, but my child and I will be throwing rocks in the stream at that time—regrettably, we are unable to accommodate a change in schedule.”
Of course, saying “no” isn’t always that easy, so, for those of us who struggle to find the words, here are a few graceful ways to decline:
“Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I need to pass this time.”
“I really appreciate the invitation, but I’m not able to commit to this right now.”
“That sounds like a wonderful opportunity, but it’s not something I can take on. I hope it goes well!”
“I’m so grateful you thought of me, but I’ll need to sit this one out.”
“I’m going to have to say no, but I hope it’s a success!”
“This isn’t a good fit for me right now, but thank you for asking.”
“I can’t help this time, but I’m cheering you on from the sidelines.”
“I wouldn’t be able to give this the attention it deserves, so I’ll have to say no.”
“I’ll be staring at the wall at that time–Sorry! I mean attending an in-home meditation retreat!” (kidding)
We can be polite, clear, and confident while also knowing that “no” is a complete sentence. We can model that an in-depth explanation for protecting your time and mental space is not required.
We will say it again–self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Finding the time to devote to yourself can be hard, but saying “no” more often might be a good place to start. This isn’t about letting others down; it’s about showing up for yourself and the people you love in a healthier, more sustainable way. When you set those boundaries, you’re modeling an invaluable lesson for your kids: that taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of others. It’s a gift that will ripple through your family and beyond.